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Saturday, December 22, 2012

Pemerintahan yang bersih? Atau masyarakat yang bersih?

Disclaimer : Segala statement yang ditulis berdasarkan opini, bukan bermaksud untuk menjudge pihak tertentu.

Sebagai pribadi, yang sehat jiwa raga, tentunya kita menginginkan hidup di lingkungan yang bagus. 
Benar begitu?
Lingkungan yang bagus, tidak hanya dari keluarga, tapi juga dari lingkungan sekitar kita seperti di hidup bertetangga, bersosialisasi, sistem yang bagus.
Benar begitu bukan?
Lalu kalau kita sebagai masyarakat yang menganut sistem demokrasi, yang bersedia untuk dipimpin oleh suatu sistem pemerintahan, tentunya kita mengharapkan pemerintah yang bersih dan baik.
Bukan begitu?

I am not really interested in politics, to be honest. Never really cared about it, because i used to think everyone in the government is full of BS, and I still do. Meskipun ketika akhirnya saya bisa dapat KTP, dan memiliki hak suara dalam pemilihan wakil, awal-awalnya juga saya abstain. Sikap terserah ini sebenarnya disebabkan dari rasa pesimis, apakah memang negara ini bisa punya pemerintahan yang bagus?
Bukan rahasia lagi kalau pemerintahan Indonesia dari tingkat paling kecil sampai skala yang besar, tidak sepenuhnya bersih. Sudah dari berpuluh-puluh tahun yang lalu ada korupsi, politik, penjilat, dan sebenarnya dari masyarakat pun, meski mungkin tidak semuanya, sudah bersikap kurang lebih "terserah karena tahu-sama-tahu, asal loe gak ganggu-ganggu hidup gw". Ada sih memang orang-orang yang sebagai aktivis memerangi hal-hal yang "menodai" pemerintahan, meski kadang saya ragu, apakah mereka begitu karena mereka tidak mendapat kesempatan untuk ikut "menodai"? Jangan-jangan seandainya mereka punya kesempatan untuk duduk di tempat yang sama dengan yang mereka perangi, mereka lupa akan hal yang mereka perjuangkan? 
Yes... I am skeptic about it. 

But then, ketika pemerintahan menjadi kacau dan rugi besar-besaran, dan masyarakat merasa dirugikan karena uang negara dilarikan oleh kunyuk-kunyuk yang ada di pemerintahan itu (yang sebenarnya ada disana karena pilihan masyarakat juga, see how ironic it is?), masyarakat pun geram. Jadi maunya apa? Tentu tetep pada impian mempunyai pemimpin dan pemerintahan yang bagus kan?

Lalu gimana memulainya?
Masyarakat kecil, pada umumnya tidak menyadari, betapa suara mereka dan dukungan mereka itu penting. Dan mereka hanya berpatokan pada hidup mereka sendiri, padahal, di dalam gambaran secara global, apa yang terjadi pada skala yang besar, pasti berpengaruh kepada skala kecil. Begitu pula sebaliknya, skala kecil pun, juga berpengaruh ke skala yang besar.
Kurang lebih begitu penggambarannya.
Sejauh ini baru punya kesempatan memilih, yah baru sekitar 5 kali. 3 kali saya abstain, karena waktu itu saya masih jadi "perantau di negara tetangga" dan tidak terlalu peduli dengan apa yang terjadi di negara asal. 2 kali berikutnya, saya sudah pulang kampung. Saya pakai untuk memilih walikota saya pada waktu itu, dan untuk memilih presiden untuk skala besarnya. Saya sih punya kesadaran untuk bener-bener MIKIR orang yang mau saya coblos itu yang mana. Meski pada akhirnya, saya pun tidak memahami 100% tentang calon-calon yang ada, karena yah, namanya juga politik, there must be some kind of BS going on during the campaign, tapi setidaknya kita perlu lah untuk sedikit-sedikit tahu.

Sayangnya, terkadang masyarakat kecil, tidak terlalu berpendidikan untuk mengerti hal-hal rumit di pemerintahan, dan tidak mempunyai akses untuk tahu tentang hal-hal itu. Contoh, keluarga petani atau buruh di pedesaan atau pelosok, apa mereka mengerti tentang rumitnya subsidi, anggaran, instruksi presiden, dll ? Mereka hanya tahu tentang gimana mereka bisa hidup hari ini, dan berharap masih bisa survive besok-besoknya. Dan sayangnya hal ini pula yang bisa dimanfaatkan bagi "calon" pemimpin.

Ini kisah nyata, terjadi di lingkungan saya. 
Kebetulan (gak juga sih, tidak ada yang kebetulan di dunia ini...), saya bekerja di lingkungan pedesaan. Yah meskipun gak desa-desa amat, masih pinggiran kota, dan di sebuah perusahaan yang lumayan besar, sebagian besar karyawannya masih tinggal di daerah desa. You know... Yang alamatnya masih bukan berupa Jalan Blablabla... Mereka masih memakai sistem alamat Desa Prikitiew, Kecamatan Oh-Lala, dst. 
Dan apa yang terjadi ketika ada pemilihan Kepala Desa, Kepala RT, Lurah, dsb?
Hal yang sering saya dengar sih, mereka lebih sering tidak "berpartisipasi" dengan benar.
Sering saya dengar, dalam pemilihan Kades, ada yang sampai habis ratusan juta. Untuk biaya kampanye. Yang sebagian sih, habis bukan di kampanye, tapi di "menyogok". Ada yang bagi-bagi sembako ke masyarakat. Ada yang bagi-bagi kain batik ke setiap warga. Dan bukan rahasia lagi, bagi-bagi amplop. Yang isinya jelas uang tunai. Bisa Rp.20.000,-. Bisa Rp.50.000,-. Bahkan ada yang pernah menerima Rp.100.000,-. Untuk apa? Pendukung calon tentunya beralasan, itu bukan sogokan, meskipun sebenarnya, ngaku saja lah, ada harapan di balik bagi-bagi itu, untuk dipilih pada waktu nanti hari H-nya.

Karena secara tidak langsung, "budaya amplop" ini mendidik masyarakat, untuk mengharapkan diberi sesuatu, ketika ada pemilihan. Bukti langsung sih ada... Beberapa dari rekan kerja ada yang berkata dengan jelas, "Milih sopo yo? Yo garek sopo sing ngamplopi...." (Milih siapa ya? Ya tinggal siapa yang kasih amplop...)
Ada juga yang berkata, ketika ditanya kenapa dia tidak ijin cuti masuk kerja ketika ada pemilihan ketua RT di tempat tinggalnya, "Males i teko, lha wong kenal calon'e sopo ae ora. Sak-sak'e wis." - Malas datang (untuk memilih), kenal calonnya siapa saja tidak. Terserah saja lah.
Dan ada yang lain mengompori, "Yo ra sah teko, bener. Ra entuk amplop to..." (Ya gak usah datang, benar. Gak dapat amplop kan..."
Kok mereka mau terima amplop?
Karena dapat uang cash langsung lebih enak daripada menunggu hasil pemerintahan bersih yang mungkin baru ada setelah berpuluh-puluh tahun lagi.

Dan ini lingkaran setan, saudara-saudara!
Karena masyarakat yang tidak peduli ini, melatih para calon-calon untuk mengeluarkan kocek untuk membeli suara mereka. Modal mereka juga besar. Yang tentunya akan mereka ambil balik modalnya dari mana? Ya dari waktu mereka menjabat donk.
Ketika sudah balik modal pun, apa yang menghalangi mereka untuk tidak mengambil lebih? Tidak ada. Kecuali ketahuan.....
Dari badan keamanan pun tidak lepas dari trik kotor. Banyak orang-orang yang mau masuk ke TNI atau angkatan lainnya, harus memberi "upeti" dulu ke pimpinan supaya diterima. Polisi terima suap tilang pun sudah bukan rahasia. Calon PNS pun gak lepas dari "upeti". Mereka mendaftar jadi PNS, ada beberapa yang harus "membayar". Jika orang-orang seperti ini duduk di dalam pemerintahan, apakah ada jaminan mereka bekerja dengan bersih?
Ini tidak hanya terjadi di lingkungan saya. Saya sih yakin ini ada dimana-mana. Seremnya sih kalau sampai skala nasional pun, hal budaya ini masih ada.

Lalu, pantaskah masyarakat yang "menjual suara" ini protes, ketika nanti ujung-ujungnya, keadaan lingkungan mereka penuh dengan korupsi, suap, kongkalikong?
Kalau mau mawas diri sih, seharusnya tidak. Karena jujur saja, menurut saya, mereka juga yang "encourage that kind of behavior".

Darimana bisa ada pemerintahan yang bersih, jika masyarakat yang dipimpin pun tidak bersih?
Begitu juga, darimana ada masyarakat yang bersih, jika tidak dipimpin dengan benar?
Bukankah naif, jika kita mengharapkan suatu pemerintahan yang bersih, jika sikap kita sebagai masyarakat pun tidak bersih?

Itulah rumitnya bermasyarakat.... 

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

How I realized I am old already.....

Have you had those experiences, where some people ask how old you are, and you JOKINGly answered " 17... " or... "20..." or any number less than 30, but deep deep down you know that you're NOT?! No?
Or maybe using that phrase " I am 17 at heart. " Because that's your defense. You may be old but always young at heart. Um... Yeah....

It's good to have those spirits. For all we know, it's nice to be young... Aaah, so thoughtless and carefree. I mean it, it's nice to be doubted that you're old. I still remember about few years ago, when I was still living abroad, every time I ventured into a casino, (not that I like gambling, that casino just happened to be near where I live, and there's a cinema there. So it's a shortcut *wink wink*. No seriously, I never gamble. Just can't afford it. :p) ... I was always being asked for an ID, to proof that I was over 18. I mean, seriously, I tried to dress well. Not in t-shirt or jeans with holes somewhere. I wore dress! And high-heeled shoes! So mature. Yet the security guards were not convinced and believed I am around 16 *cough* until I showed them my driving license, which was Indonesian driving license by the way. Um... don't they know that in Indonesia , it's easy to fake your age in the driving license? Heck I even knew a 13 year-old boy who had a license that confirmed him as a 19 year-old. Riiiight.......

So we do get old. We can't deny it. Why deny it? Although I know, it's rather hard to accept that we're not as young as we were. And maybe we just really have to realize that, after some reality things were really thrown to your face and just say "C'mon admit it! You're OLD!". And here are some that hit me.....

-> When I no longer like boy bands....
Well I still like the OLD boy bands. You know, when they were boy bands in MY era. Which they are old dudes by now. I still remember around *cough* 15 years ago, I was so crazed up about boy bands. I would go screaming all 'ooooh... aaaah...' every time they were on the radio or TVs, just like the teenagers now. Now? How am I supposed to like them when the oldest member of the band is actually way younger than me? *facepalm* Not that I hate their songs... Just not really a fan of them anymore.

-> Or no longer like music that requires too much energy to enjoy...
This is where I was torn at heart. You see, I always thought that the music in the nightclub was the coolest genre of music. I did like the beats. And it's always fun to dance to the beat. I just don't have the energy for clubbing anymore. Not that I was a club-craze chick back then, I think I went to club probably only around 5 or 6 times. But I did enjoy the music. I even had some CDs full of it. Now I think those CDs are somewhere.... um.. missing. 

-> When I get dizzy looking at bright colors constantly....
Another wake-up call thing, is when I can no longer stand seeing cute girly colors for my phone theme. Ha! See! How cute are these?


It's a free blackberry theme by the way, which for a moment, hypnotized me with the bright colors, cute fonts, cute candy icons, and made me screaming KYAAAA KAWAII!! like a little girl again. It even took control of my mind and made me consciously purchased TWO themes with the same cuteness. Only to realize, after two days of using the themes, I can't stand to look at it anymore, and I am back using the more simpler theme. And I deleted the cute themes. I got dizzy. That's right. DIZZY for looking at something THAT CUTE?! That means you're old, girl..... C'mon, your own body can't take it. It's like a totally different era, when you used to be able NOT SLEEPING for 2 days, or maybe went to sleep at 4 AM, now you're sleepy already at 10 PM.

-> When my desktop backgrounds no longer feature chibi anime characters....
I like mangas. And animes. I still like them by the way 'til now. But the love has shifted. Yup.
The teenager me *cough* would read and watch them EVERYDAY, and if you log in into my computer, you'd see something like these :


Or something else cuter that features cute chibi characters like mini Luffy of One Piece or mini Sakura-chan from Cardcaptor Sakura, or 5 years ago I still collect Naruto wallpapers!!!
NOW my desktop backgrounds are.....


FOOD !!!!!!!!!!!
And LOTS of them.......
'Cause you know... Old people... need food.....
No?
Or maybe because as we get older, we just like to sit down and munch, rather than go out adventuring somewhere wild. Uh huh.....
Go on, deny it, because you can't. Look at the young teenagers, so full up of energy, running around to do crazy things. Older people? Having culinary-trips. Seriously admit it. You go all the way to other towns, not to do sailings, or flying fox things, or bungee-jumping (which I NEVER dare enough to try), or something. But to eat. And it's getting worse when you're old enough to have grandchildren. True story.... My own mom does it. With her friends. Willing to travel somewhere far away. Just to eat the local culinary. 
And I think I already do the same thing. The last trip I went through, I ended up eating more than shopping. 

-> When the shortened messages annoys me like a trapped ant in the pants....
Aaaah teenagers... So carefree, so thoughtless, so creative.... Okay back then, when the mobile phone can only use 160 characters per message, and the cost of the message itself is more expensive than it is right now, it's totally understandable to shorten your text. You know... Like using 'u' instead of 'you' ... 'thx' instead of the full 'thank you'... And I did it too, way back then... It's so cool and hip.
Now it annoys me a lot when young people replace 'nya' with 'x'... where the hell did that X come from??!
Or when they use numbers as letters. 53r10u5|_y? You have smartphones nowadays!
FULL QWERTY keypads. And the cost of the message doesn't really cost much by the way. But okay, maybe my old mind can no longer see it as cool and hip anymore.

And I finally have to surrender and admit, geez, I am no longer young.....

What other wake-up-calls for being old? Maybe now you have to work for living, instead of robbing the parent's money? Maybe now you have to maintain your image, instead of being so carefree?


Sunday, September 30, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 25



http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-25.html



The past month without you, has taught me a lot of things.
Patience. Wisdom. Love.
How to appreciate our times before. To cherish small things that some people think are meaningless, yet they hold precious memories of you. 
How to understand more about the path we took together.
Though the mysteries aren't quite clear yet on why we met, but I know, God has plans.
Through the heartbreak and tears, I learn, about how to love you truly.


" You can never really get over some one 
because after you fall in love with them, they will always be a part of you, the best part. 
- @damnitstrue "

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 24

http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-24.html

And every little corner of this city reminds me of you..... :(

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 23


The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting. ” 


Of all the hardships a person had to face, 
none was more punishing than the simple act of waiting. ” 


http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-23.html

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 22




This night is an almost great night. Not too breezy night, not too hot either. Relaxing smooth jazz music on. Yummy drinks. There's only one thing missing from making this a great night.

You.


.bie.
.... missing and loving you as always

http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-22.html

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 21

Tulusnya cinta, meski tak lagi bersama, kadang rasa benci hadir dalam dada, 
kamu tetap tak pernah melewatkan seharipun tanpa merindukannya.
- @pepatah



“Warning! Crazy person inside.”
|
V
http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-21.html


Saturday, September 22, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 20




What's funny is, no matter how busy I am, I am still thinking and missing you.



http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-20.html


Friday, September 21, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 19

21 SEPT 2012



http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-19.html


Feelings don't die. We all keep them alive by feeding them memories. 
That's the exact reason why it is so hard to move on from a loved one.
- RT @damnitstrue


Thursday, September 20, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 18

dari sekian banyak orang, di hidupmu, harus aku ?

http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-18.html



Renungan hari ini :

Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience.
Yakinlah dan mengertilah bahwa ujian dan pembuktikan iman anda membawa kegigihan dan ketekunan dan kesabaran.
Sebetulnya ujian atau pencobaan lumrah terjadi dalam hidup ini, tidak ada satupun dari kita yang dapat menghindarinya.
Perbedaannya dari sikap kita, kalau kita merasa terpukul dan berat, maka hidup yang kita jalani akan terasa demikian.
Bila percaya dengan iman bahwa Tuhan selalu memberi jalan keluar akan membuat kita merasa nyaman dan tenteram, sehingga kita dapat menikmati hidup ini didalam kasih karuniaNya.
Membuat kita semakin tekun dan gigih untuk memasuki semua rencanaNya, yang telah disediakan bagi kita.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 17

Sama seperti kita tidak bisa memaksa cinta itu datang ke hati, 
kita juga tidak bisa memaksa cinta untuk pergi seketika dari hati.


~^~
http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-17.html


19 SEPT 2012


Banyak yang berspekulasi, "it will wear off soon..." "you can forget about him..." "you will get over it..." etc. . Meski memang pedoman Talking is easier than actually doing it sudah sering disebarluaskan, it seems like a very appropriate advice when people deal with broken-hearted person. 


NOT.


Aku cuma mau bilang, bahwa melupakan bukan cara untuk bangkit dari keterpurukan. Apalagi jika tidak ada yang bisa benar-benar tahu apa yang dirasakan oleh seseorang, kecuali orang itu sendiri dan Tuhan ? Am I right ? Yes we can give our sympathy, supports, prayers. But the most important thing, empathy and understanding, that it is not an easy-peasy thing to do.


Hari ini aku berpikir, tentang apa itu keanehan cinta, dan sikap ironis orang terhadapnya. Cinta itu, bisa datang tak terduga. Jika kita bisa menerima kenyataan ciri dari cinta adalah dia bisa datang tanpa dipaksa, bukankah aneh jika kita memaksakan diri untuk mengusir cinta itu pergi?


Dear, you...
I don't know where you are right now.
I don't know what you are doing right now.
I don't know how you are right now.
I don't know what you feel, what you think about, right now.


But I know me.


I know what I feel.
What I think about. What I dream of.
And I know, that everything about you, is real.


And I'm not forcing myself to let you go. That will just make me love you more.

Ada sedikit komentar dari teman, mengapa cengeng ketika kehilangan orang yang kita cintai? Seharusnya dia yang sedih karena kehilangan orang yang begitu mencintainya.
Hahaha, good one. :)
Just like when I fell in love with you, unexpectedly.
Untuk dulu, hingga hari ini, entah sampai kapan, aku yakin untuk menyatakan, 
kalau aku masih sayang kamu. Even when you don't give a damn about it.
Tidak banyak yang kuminta. Hanya cobalah untuk mengerti itu.


.bie.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 16

apabila seandainya Tuhan tidak memberikan kesembuhan pun, kita tetap harus meyakini kalau Tuhan memelihara
http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-16.html

Wake Me Up When September Ends 15

wherever you are, whatever you do, thank you for these. And that precious gift that of course I won't post it here :p.



http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-15.html


~^~

Hello, my haters. 
Yang ada dibawah ini adalah untuk kalian.


You see, I got another hate message tonight. Right after I got home. Kata-kata hinaan lagi yang aku kurang tahu kalian ingin apa lagi dari aku? Kali ini berbeda sih dengan yang sebelumnya, yang sebelumnya amat pengecut nomornya langsung tidak bisa dihubungi, kalau yang ini masih sempat aku bisa sms balik dan sempat ada balasan juga dari sana. 
Aku tidak marah. Aku tidak benci. Dan lagi aku mau meluruskan, semua anggapan yang diberikan kepadaku, silahkan, aku dengarkan, aku tidak bisa mengontrol apa kata hati orang lain.


Aku tahu, banyak kesalahan yang aku lakukan, yang sebenarnya tidak didasari oleh niat buruk. Mungkin memang ada yang tersakiti atas apa yang terjadi belakangan ini. Lalu, MAU KALIAN APA?
Kalian mau aku lenyap? Tidak ada lagi disini? Don't think I'm doing okay, jika saja kalian tahu aku lebih hancur dari kalian. Tapi apa aku harus menunjukkannya supaya kalian puas?


Semua yang terjadi, aku TIDAK PERNAH ADA NIAT dengan SENGAJA melakukannya. Mungkin memang ada kekeliruan yang aku ambil, kesalahan yang aku tetap lakukan. Tapi tidak pernah ada niat dari awal untuk sengaja. 
Hey, I'm not asking for this. Semua memang terjadi begitu saja. Apakah mutlak kesalahan saya?
Dan jika kalian menganggap saya sok suci, well pernahkah saya bilang saya ini suci?
Pernahkah saya menonjolkan diri sebagai orang suci?


No, dari awal sampai sekarang ini, aku tetap manusia hina. Ya, semua manusia adalah manusia berdosa. Dan aku memang berdosa. Dan aku tidak pernah berharap kalian untuk respect atau ga dengan aku. Alasan mengapa aku tetap ingin belajar di gereja, adalah karena aku menyadari hal itu, bahwa aku adalah pendosa. Dan aku juga sudah berjanji pada Tuhan, (dan kepada dia), untuk tetap setia mencari apa kehendak Tuhan atas semua kejadian ini. Lalu kalian ingin aku tidak ada lagi disana? If you have no idea how it feels to be me, why judge me? Even though it is a lot easier to judge than to understand, bukankah sebagai orang yang katanya "lebih baik dari saya", seharusnya Anda bisa bersikap lebih baik lagi daripada menghakimi saya?


Saya tidak pernah ada menginginkan pertengkaran. Saya juga tidak pernah menginginkan adanya kehancuran suatu hubungan atau kepercayaan. Jika anda sekalian bertanya dan menyalahkan saya atas kejadian yang terjadi, ya mari kita sama-sama mencari tahu bertanya kepada Dia, kenapa harus ada dihadirkan saya disini? Jangan salah kira, saya pun tidak senang lonjak-lonjak kegirangan untuk ada di keadaan dan situasi ini. Sakit hati dan hancurnya saya, hanya saya dan Tuhan yang tahu. Kalian boleh silahkan tetap membenci saya, jika memang anda semua mengira itu yang terbaik.
Tapi saya sih tidak ingin membenci anda semua. 
Justru saya dari awal juga minta maaf kalau sampai menimbulkan kebencian di hati kalian semua.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 14

http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-14.html


Saturday, September 15, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 13

Sekecil apapun berkat yang kita terima, sebesar apapun masalah yang kita alami, hari ini aku diingatkan untuk tetap berterimakasih atas apa yang kita alami.

SOMEONE ELSE IS HAPPY WITH LESS THAN WHAT WE HAVE.

http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-13.html

Friday, September 14, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 12

Mazmur 119:71
"Bahwa aku tertindas itu baik bagiku, supaya aku belajar ketetapan-ketetapanMu"


Renungan:
Tidak seorangpun yang mengharapkan keadaan yang tidak baik & menderita di dalam hidupnya sepanjang waktu. Tetapi ketika Tuhan mengijinkan suatu keadaan yang membuat kita menderita, dan hal itu mendatangkan kebaikan dan lebih mendekatkan kita kepada Tuhan, maka kita boleh berkata bahwa, "tertindas itu baik bagiku."


Ada kalanya manusia harus diperhadapkan pada kondisi yang menyakitkan, sehingga Tuhan bisa menarik mereka untuk mendekat kepadaNya. Sebenarnya kita tidak perlu menunggu agar tertindas atau dililit masalah terlebih dahulu baru mencari Tuhan. 
Yesaya 55:6 berkata, "Carilah Tuhan selama Ia berkenan ditemui; berserulah kepadaNya selama Ia dekat.
Kalaupun Tuhan mengijinkan kita tertindas, di dalam ketertindasan itu pun kita dapat belajar tentang kasih Tuhan yang berusaha dengan berbagai cara untuk membawa kita kembali dekat kepadaNya.


http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-12.html

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 11

Doubt thou the stars are fire, 
doubt thou the sun doth move,
doubt truth to be a liar,
but NEVER doubt I love.


- Shakespeare


http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-11.html

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 10

Trying not to think about you, only makes me thinking about you more....

I tried to find things to do all day, so I wouldn't think about you all the time,... But you never left my heart and mind.

Wherever you are, whatever you're up to, I'm hoping you are very well. Believing that you can make it, with God's guidance on you.


http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-10.html


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 09

When we truly love someone, we give our best and let that person see the pureness of our intentions. But sometimes, that person makes us cry and hurts us for the wrong reasons. That someone must have loved us, but he has not loved us enough to make him stand for what he truly felt. Now, we are faced with the seemingly impossible task of forgetting. We have burdened ourselves long enough. But we still can’t get out from this emotional trap.


- Joe D' Mango

Sebuah perahu dibuat untuk berada di tengah lautan, bukan hanya diam di dermaga.
Demikian juga manusia diciptakan untuk mengarungi kehidupan, bukan berdiam dan menunggu kehidupan ini berakhir.

Di dalam mengarungi kehidupan, akan banyak ombak dan badai yang akan dihadapi, tapi disitulah inti seni dari kehidupan. Terus kembangkan layar dan nikmati perjalanan hingga sampai tujuan.

Jangan takut salah, apalagi untuk hal yang kita yakini benar. Karena setiap kesalahan pun adalah bagian dari proses pembentukan. Indahnya kehidupan bukan dari banyaknya kesenangan, tapi pada semampunya kita untuk bersyukur.

BERKAT adalah saat kita kuat dalam keadaan putus asa dan tetap bersyukur saat tak punya apa-apa.
Bisa tetap tersenyum saat diremehkan.
Bisa tetap sabar meski berat.
Bisa tetap setia meski ditinggalkan.
Bisa tetap damai tatkala situasi sulit. "


Keep praying, God will guide us all.


http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-09.html


Monday, September 10, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 08

When you really miss someone, you miss the little things the most, like just laughing together.

- @damnitstrue



http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-08.html

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 07

Terkadang kamu tak menyadari betapa berartinya seseorang dalam hidupmu hingga mereka meninggalkanmu, dan kamu merindukannya.


- @pepatah


http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-07.html

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 06

We all fall in love, and there are times that we love so much that we lose ourselves in our own emotions. More often than not, we wonder why there are love that grows and love that grows cold. We would start to search for answers, and try to find where love has gone wrong. But in the end, we find ourselves where we started. We cannot question love when it has its own reasons. Love will always be as it always has been. Silent. Mysterious. And deeply profound.


- Joe D' Mango


Let us remember that the more we try to forget someone we love, the more painful letting go will become. Sometimes, we never have to take that person out in our hearts at all, for he will always be there no matter how hard we try to drive him away. It isn’t his presence that makes this difficult but it is our stubbornness to accept our destiny that aligns forgetting next to impossible. We keep a cold face, but deep in our hearts, there still that lingering hope for a reconciliation. Somehow, we still believe that we can rekindle small embers and relight the fire that once burned in our hearts.


- Joe D' Mango



http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-06.html

" Wait. "


Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, “Wait.”

“Wait? You say, wait?” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.

“You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.”

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, “Wait.”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting for what?”

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

“I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.

“You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

“You’d never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

“The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

“You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I’m doing in you.

“So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait.”

- by Russell Kelfer

~ * ~

Terkadang dalam hidup ini, kita mengalami kepahitan yang begitu berat. 
Yang membuat kita bertanya, "Why? I don't deserve this."
Yang membuat kita begitu tersakiti, putus asa...
The aching that breaks us so. That makes us don't even want to believe anymore.

Tapi terkadang kita perlu melihat kembali, jauh ke dalam ke kepahitan itu. Karena Tuhan memberikan satu pelajaran tersembunyi disana. Lewat kepahitan itu, kita bertumbuh. Lewat kepahitan itu, kita disadarkan. Lewat kepahitan itu, kita ditempa.
Untuk satu rencana, yang menguatkan kita, dan memuliakan-Nya.

Butuh waktu, dan hati yang besar, yang mau untuk dididik untuk melihat pencerahan di balik setiap kepahitan. Dan Tuhan menginginkan kita, untuk sabar menunggu
Karena dalam waktu-Nya, kita akan tahu.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 05


In a relationship we treasure, the hardest thing is to do is saying goodbye and setting someone free. For every last embrace, a part of us dies. Every tear drop that falls washes away our hope. Then, we are left with nothing but pain and bitter memories because we have lost love but never knew how and will probably never know why.

- Joe D' Mango




http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-05_7.html



Thursday, September 6, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends 04


Tahukah kamu, apa sebenarnya itu cokelat?
Cokelat itu, .... identik dengan rasa manis, enak, membahagiakan.
Faktanya, cokelat yang sesungguhnya, rasanya cenderung pahit.
Cokelat yang manis, jika diteliti, kandungan cokelatnya bisa dibilang hanya sedikit. Yang menjadikan enak, mungkin dari banyaknya gula, susu, pemanis, dll.
Sugar-coating the bitterness of the chocolate.

Cinta itu,... seperti cokelat.
Terbungkus oleh kepalsuan kenikmatan, yang membuat kita berpikir, cinta itu hal yang indah.
Meskipun sesungguhnya, cinta itu pahit.

http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-05.html


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends #03

All of the people around me (including you..) tell me, I should move on. I have to move on.
But what they (including you..) don't realize is,
moving on is not an easy thing to do, when what I left behind was actually better than what I am having and feeling right now. And it was truly the times, I felt happy....

sharing the best gift we ever got
http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/wake-me-up-when-september-ends-03.html

Letters For You : Wake Me Up When September Ends #02

http://simplincy.blogspot.com/2012/09/letters-for-you-project-wake-me-up-when_4.html

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Letters For You Project : Wake Me Up When September Ends

I am back. Sort of.... To be honest, I actually wanted to stop writing.
I've stopped writing in my agenda. I've stopped writing in my diary.
And sure I've been taking hiatus from writing blog posts.
Not that I got bored of writing, nor I have anything to write, but just the circumstances around me, were too hard to handle at times so I couldn't really have spare energy to write about it.

I don't want to go into details on what's REALLY going on with me. Because according to my experiences, knowing is not the same with understanding. Even though you know, it won't guarantee you will understand. So haters, judge me all you want, I can't care if what you think is wrong. If you want to lecture me, know me personally first.

So, anyway, what makes me want to write again....
First, I want to say, that I never really thought about this thing before. This idea came so suddenly and I don't have any bad intention or purpose of doing it, I just want to honest with myself.
Second, half of this mission is dedicated to someone. Someone important for me.


-Background Story-
Dia, yang selama ini selalu menemani saya, saat ini sedang berkelana. Keadaan begitu merubah kehidupan kami, terutama dia, dengan drastis. Sehingga dia, memerlukan waktu untuk menenangkan diri, jauh dari lingkungan yang selama ini ada, untuk berpikir, mencari wawasan yang lebih luas, demi masa depannya.
Aku, pernah berjanji padanya, akan mensupport dia selalu, untuk hal-hal yang akan membuatnya menjadi orang yang lebih baik.
Selama sebulan ini, September, dia "menghilang". Dan aku tidak bisa tahu, tentang keberadaannya, keadaannya, menghubungi dia, karena dia butuh untuk fokus.
Aneh? Maybe... I protested a little at the beginning.
But sometimes, we do need time and space to be alone, and although it saddens me not being able to help him in that way, I have to respect his decision.

Sewaktu dia berpamitan, di hari terakhir dia masih ada disini, dia bilang dia akan kembali awal Oktober. And he promised, if God permits, he will be back for sure.
Jadi.. Sebulan. No contact, at all, padahal selama ini tidak pernah ada berhenti contact. Aneh kah rasanya? Super weird.
So when I asked, whom can I talk and tell stories too... He said, to your blog.
Aku tidak tahu apakah dia menjawab itu sambil bercanda, atau serius, secara aku juga tidak pernah tahu apakah dia membaca blog ini atau tidak.
Tetapi dari situ, ada satu ide muncul.

Setiap malam, aku menulis satu surat.
Mungkin aku sedikit berharap, kali aja dia iseng-iseng baca.... Kalaupun tidak, yah setidaknya akan jadi tempat untukku, mengeluarkan uneg-uneg, cerita, dan kerinduan akan dia.

So I am starting my personal writing project, a month of letters for him. A project called, Wake Me Up When September Ends. :)
Why the name? Um... Because I totally relate to the song, I just want this September to be quickly done, and get to October, when I hope I can see him again.


So.. You.. Hey, you! My special guy...
If you happened to read this, I dedicate this project for you. And only you. It will be written in the other blog I have, not this one. So it won't get mixed up with the random things I got in here.
simplincy.blogspot.com
Others, don't read. Especially if you can't appreciate my thoughts and feelings.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Love changes us.

In How I Met Your Mother Season 06 episode 05, one of the character (Ted Mosby) says, 
" We all change a little for whoever we're into. "
To what length are we willing to change who we are?
We must have experienced it in our lives. We meet someone, and like them so much ; trying hard to impress them, or to have something in common with them, just because we want to be with them for as long as we can. Even if it means we have to do things we never imagine we ever did before. What drives us, is our feelings.
And the more we like someone, the crazier we can get.
True we should always apply " Be yourself. Don't change just because someone else asks you to."  rule when in a relationship. But it's almost a known fact that when people like someone else, little or even major changes happen in their lives.

Little changes can be something like ; when we're trying to like their fave kind of music, even though we never heard of it before. When we're trying to eat their fave foods, or cook their fave foods, even though we rarely cook, suddenly we feel the urge to cook because we want to make them happy.

Some even go to major changes like ; willing to move to other city, because they want to be together with people they love.
01 July 2012 - i'd anything for these guys :)
my lovable Z and my love D

Some changes may look stupid for other people, but I think it's understandable, as long as the change itself not giving any negative impacts. ( E.g. doing drugs because our partners are doing it, NOT COOL. Or converting religion to follow partners' religion, also NOT COOL. ) But sometimes our feelings can be very delusional, suffocating us, totally change the way we think who we are, and if it gets out of control, that "love" may kill.

Yup. What a scary little evil monster love is.
And it's killing me slowly, one day at a time....

***

Speaking of loving too much can kill, apparently animals can be like that too.

Our family home is also a home for 4 dogs, right now. The current four ones, my family didn't get them all for once, of course. We got them one by one.

big cranky lady, P
The first one is this Chow-Chow x Labrador girl, P. First time she was given to us, she was the only dog in the home, as the previous dogs have passed away or adopted by other people. So being the only cuddle of love, she was given lots of love and attention from my brother, hence she was a bit spoiled at first. Not much a trouble as she is a good and smart girl too.
sweet little guy, A

And then,.... one year later, my brother decided to buy another dog. 
A Maltese guy, A.
This was the love become tricky thing. Jealousy stroke. Feeling of inadequacy followed. Both of them love attention. And sure it is so cute and happy moment for us when both of them run towards us to greet us home, but it sure does look like they are fighting to get the first attention.





Naughty little girl, C.
So when my dog arrived last year, ( i got Z as my birthday present from D <3 ), and few months ago my brother was given a new puppy C, the competition of Who gets most love?  , is getting tougher. Even though we love them all, yes we do, sometimes I feel the jealousy among them is still there. 

While it is soooo nice and I'm happy being greeted home by these four furry balls of love, having them all jumping on you all at once, trying to get you to hold them, while you're still carrying heavy laptop bag or groceries bag is handful. Sometimes when I feel a bit tired, I'd have to run first to my room and they were all chasing behind me. They won't get me all at the same time because two of them are small and the others are big.

Then came a bit of incident last Sunday night. The people in the house had to go out often that day, so in the afternoon, the dogs were alone for some time. So when some of us went back home, the dogs were all excited to greet them. Because they were all trying to get attention first, it led to a fight between P and A. P, being as the oldest of the group, (and biggest, and strongest) maybe she has some kind of pride and she would get mad to the other if she was not the first to get to us. And A, who usually is a sweet little guy, was also defending his pride that night. The fight got ugly, A got hurt in the left eye, and was bleeding inside his left ear. Our guess is maybe P was scratching him with her big claws.

A is still recovering for now. We all hope he will be cured soon.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Treasurable Memories


When we're in a relationship, surely we do a lot of things together with our partner. Classic dates ; going to see movies, eating out for lunch or dinner, going around the city, or do shopping together, spending times together just cuddling and talking to each other, etc. Or even planning on bigger dates, like going away together to another city for a day, even having a vacation with just the two of us for some days. We can think of many things to do with our partner, because we never really think it's going to end, right? We let it flow, and even plan things ahead in the future.

And what do we get from all of those times? Memories.
We want to always remember our happy times in our lives. Some of us take pictures, some record moments, some just rely on their brains to store the memories, or else, we each have our own ways to reserve the memories.
I have a good ability to remember important stuffs. Well.. important stuffs for me. So i don't really need to save and keep everything to reserve the memories. But it doesn't make me being ignorant. In fact, I'm a bit obsessive. When there is something that means a lot to me, even though it can mean like nothing for other people, I'd keep it.

So of course when I'm in the happiest relationship in my life, and it really is the only time I truly feel happy, I try to keep everything I can keep. Things that are common, like photos, chat histories, stories in a diary, and even small things like movie tickets, store receipts, restaurant bills, our vacation tickets, anything. I even tried to keep the petals from the rose I got from him on Valentine's Day this year. It may sound ridiculous but I don't want to regret on missing something and having nothing to remember by.

Too bad roses wither... It only lasts for a week max. :'(

Sadly, often we just realize things actually matter when it's gone. When you've lost everything, that's when you can really start to appreciate and realize small meaningless things actually mean a lot to you
Even though I have kept lots of things, it still doesn't feel enough. :)

Two days ago, I got a nice break night from my life of despair, for I was with him, we had our usual favorite date (watching movie and driving around the city), I found my new treasurable memories. Small things I never really thought of before. Things I can see in different perspective now.
I truly like to watch him driving. And the way sometimes we hold each other's hand while he's driving.
I like how he looks like when he's watching the road.
How he sings along to the song on the radio/CD.
And the way he walks. The way he talks. 
Or when he holds me close to him, hugging me during the movie.
Love the way he laughs. Or when he giggles.
The sounds of his breaths. The warmth of his body. The softness when we hold hands. The touch of his lips. 
When you can appreciate tiny things like that, it feels so content, and I assure you, you wish you can just freeze the time, right there. 

Don't just remember the big things like gifts (oh but i got an unexpected gift :)) or anniversaries or else, because it gets boring easily. We can't always expect to have great things all the times. 
Appreciate and reserve small things too. Things that seem so mundane and cheesy, they become the sweetest thing if you're in love.

Treasure them, so much in your heart, for things like this that make our lives colorful.

Monday, June 25, 2012

"Goodbye" is not an easy word.

How would you react to separation?
Crying?
Anger?
Denial?
Joy?
I've dealt with quite much losing in my life so far, and I gotta say, you can never really prepare for goodbye.

Just recently, I have to let go of someone really important for me. 
He's been in my life for about 2 years, with unexpectedly our relationship grew into much deeper and closer than we ever wanted to be.
I have been through a lot of things together with this person, and it may sound cheesy, but I can't fool my heart not to love this person.
So when the relationship really had to come to an end, it's not an easy thing for me to go through.

Months before, when I already sensed things were wrong, I tried to prepare my best to deal with it.
Berdoa, menguatkan hati, menyabarkan diri. Membayangkan skenario-skenario kejadian ketika hal itu terjadi. Melatih reaksi.
But as I said, kita tidak pernah bisa benar-benar menyiapkan diri untuk suatu perpisahan.
Sesempurna apapun kita melatih diri, hati akan menunjukkan siapa kita sesungguhnya.

And apparently, i can't force myself to let go....
It will always be there, that crazy little thing called ~ love ~. And as much as I know I have to accept my loss, this heart just won't listen to me.


Saturday, March 31, 2012

Remembering when...


Dear D ,

It's almost 2 months since we broke up...
Do you still love me?


I still do.. :)
Dan kurasa kamu pun juga tahu itu.
Sungguh aneh ya, kita masih bisa bersama, meskipun secara status kita tidak lagi sebagai pacar. Seolah-olah hari itu tidak pernah terjadi.
Atau kita, terutama aku, memang dalam denial, tidak ingin benar-benar mengakui dan menerima kenyataan, that you are no longer mine...

Mungkin kamu tidak akan pernah tahu, perasaanku sesungguhnya...
Kesedihan yang harus kusembunyikan, karena aku tidak ingin kamu melihat aku terpuruk.
Karena aku juga tidak ingin membuat suasana menjadi buruk, for i really cherish the times we spent together.
Although sometimes, I want you to understand how I feel.

I still can't let go of you..
Even though I know I should...
Gradually I teach myself, to surrender.. Berpasrah atas keadaan..


I believe that if things are meant to be, they'll come true,
and the past will set me free.
I believe and I know deep in my heart, that you will see,
in the time we are apart.

I've not let you go... I've kept you here with me...
Even though it seems like I've moved on, the distance still hurts me...

But if the years go by and you forget me,
know that I love you and that I cherish all the days that you were here with me,
and I was beside you, there inside your heart...
Warm in summer time ...
No, I can't let go ... Thinking of what might have been ...

I believe, even though I must leave you,
there will be a time we meet again ...
If it's true, that your heart is meant for me,
then fate will see that in distant days, we'll meet ...

And I'll love you still .. But will you still love me?
Knowing what I've done to you, but not how much you mean to me.

And if the years go by and you forget me,
know that I miss you ...
And that I'll look back on the days, that you were here with me,
and I was beside you, there inside your heart...
Warm in memories ...
No, I can't let go ... Thinking of what might have been ...

A wounded heart is hardest to forgive.
But I'll still try to make it right, for every day that I have been away from you.
I'll kiss you twice, and tenderly I'll pledge to stay ...

But if the pain has made your heart forget me,
know that I'll miss you, and that I'll look back on the days that you were here with me,
and I was beside you, there inside your heart ...
Warm in memories ...
I'll let go of you, wishing for what might have been ...
I'll love you still, the one and only you forever ...
- copied from Emotional Flutter